Monday, July 7, 2008

Nina's Pizza Owners Are Jerks and Mean, Scary, Bad Drivers.

So, as I mentioned in my previous blog, I drove to Salt Lake on Sunday. As I entered the freeway from Center Street, a fat fat Jerk cut me off. he sped up ahead of me in the right lane, then changed lanes in front of me, then changed lanes again. It was a silver Mercedes with a Nina's Pizza triangular delivery guy on the top. It also had an advertisement and address and phone number on the side.
I'm not one to put pictures of cars on my blog, but I think I had to here

I think this was the kind it was. It was black on the bumper, but something like this because it was a Mercedes, but it wasn't super fashionable. Like, it looked just like a run-of-the-mill car, like Nissan could make it, (My mom just reiterated that fact, she glanced at the picture and said "Provo, home of the Nissan's") but Mercedes does in fact make it, so it's automatically thousands of dollars more expensive, and the person driving it is thousands of dollars more pompous. It was like the cheap model Mercedes just so you can say you have one. Anyhow, I got a great look at the back of this jerks car on the way to Salt Lake, the back of his car and his Florida license plate and the o39 2wt on it. Anyway, as he changed lanes again, of course no signal, and of course he didn't do it gradually, there was a car in front of him who was changing lanes opposite of him, because there was a slow car ahead of both of them. Well as these two cars were doing their delicate ballet, the lanes merged, un-benounced to Mr. Mercedes. And so instead of slowing down and falling in line safely , he sped ahead of the car opposite him and almost made him crash, I honked at him alot. Then he tried to make his way around the slow car, but he couldn't, so he just tailed him till we made it off the on ramp. Now, to Nina's pizza's car's credit, the man was going obnoxiously slow. 50 on an on ramp. So i dismissed this Pizza guy as an idiot and let him drive on.
Well, about ten miles up the freeway, i see the car again. I knew it was the same car because it had the Nina's pizza delivery thing on it, and the black bumper. I just got so angry when I saw it, mostly because I knew it wasn't just being a complete moron on the on ramp, but was, in fact, a moron in real life and all across the freeway. I also knew i would be driving with him for quite a while. So, I put on my honkin' glove and got ready to be pissed off the whole ride. When I saw him, he had just pulled in front of me in the carpool lane, But it was not legal to cross at that time, you know, it was still the double white lines, not the dashed. Now, I know that color and thickness and dashing of lines are of no importance to most Utah drivers, this man took it too far. he came in and out of the carpool lane 4 times, just trying to pass all these other cars. and with all his lane changing, he only ended up two cars in front of me cause while he was going forward AND side to side illegally through the lanes, i was just moving forward, so... do THAT math, i guess. Anyway. He illegally passed me and cut me off a few times.

As he passed me one of the many times, I saw that he was in his early fifties and had grey hair. He was thin and was wearing a golden man-bracelet. his wife was next to him, she was also late forties and was short with curly white-grey-brown hair. As it turns out, these were the Owners of Nina's Pizza. the woman actually was Nina. they are from New York, which is confusing on two levels. ONE: how could someone from New York City drive so fast? I've been there and cars don't go fast at all because it is so congested, although i guess thats where the weaving comes in. TWO: they had a florida license plate. so i guess they lived in Florida for long enough to get their car registered there, then moved to New York for a while. And Nina's New York style pizza sounds better than Nina's Florida Style Pizza. Anyhow the man was pompous looking and wearing thin man bracelts and driving like a psyco.

So, remember how he passed me and cut me off in the HOV lane? thats where I was at before iIgave you the character detail. Well at that point, he had only caused the one car on the On ramp to almost crash, he just pissed off a ton of others, but I thought I'd just drive on in the HOV lane and ignore him. And oddly enough, I got ahead of him.

At the Point of the Mountain he came up behind me doing some jerk things, weaving in between lanes, avoiding cars and pissing everyone off, so I illegally came out of the HOV and got in front of him and slowed down, He passed me. I sepd up and got in front of him again and slowed down. This time, instead of passing, he just tailgated me. but then, when i didn't speed up, he backed off. I thought he got the point.

Long story Short, he didn't. More of the same around IKEA area, so I called up Utah Highway Patrol on his butt. Boo-yah, I did my civic duty. They never caught him as far as I could see, but at least i helped keep america safer. OH! I forgot, remember how i told you that the car had a telephone number for Nina's pizza on the side? Well, I called it up and i left them a message. something like this:
Hi! This is Ethan Williams. I just wanted to let you know that one of your delivery cars is acting erratically and driving like dangerously on the freeway. it's a middle aged man and a cheap silver mercedes. I know their probably the owners but they are still driving really badly ... 
Then I related the gist of the blog to them, thanked them and hung up
The next day i got a call from Nina's pizza saying they missed my call. i just told them that i had left them a message and asked them to listen to it. 

Anyhow, my blogs are getting long, I apologize. Long and less interesting. But this needed to be said. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

unbenounced may look better as unbeknownst.... except that the former looks bouncier.

the word freak