Tuesday, July 15, 2008


So, today was my little Syster Erinn, er... Sister Erynn's birthday party. I got back from buying my new laptop to find a horde of screaming 12 year olds in my house. They were so noisy I could hear them from the sidewalk. Then when I got in, it was even worse than I could have imagined. Just the sheer constancy and volume and shrill-ness of the noise was overwhelming. So I quickly got myself a bowl of Neopolitan ice-cream and went into the bathroom to eat it. While I was in there, savoring the... not quiet, but savoring and enjoying the Less-noise, I heard one of Erynn's 'friends' (except i had never seen her before, and she seemed like a ... y'know, one of those girls. boyfriend and age 12, dresses in things exclusively from the mall, etc. AND thinking I enjoyed hearing her flirt. sheesh.) Anyway, I heard, actually all of Erynn's guests talking first about Zack Efron and Ashley Tisdale, then about Twilight and how one of the girls who hadn't read it needed to because Eclipse was just so awesome and that's where the fight happens and all this good stuff. all of these twelve year old girls got riled up. well, then this girl, you know, the one i was mentioning earlier (I know it was her because she never said anything, she screamed it. and if people ignored her, or didn't hear because she didn't scream loud enough, and everyone else was talking at the same time, she's scream it again. and the biggest problem i had was that this girl always had something to say about everything.) She said that she had E.C.D. or Edward Cullen Disorder. 'Disorder?' I wondered if this meant that she... thought she was a vampire, or she was madly in love with some plain, clumsy girl. I didn't know.

But this made me realize that the only reason these girls like these books is because Edward is Hott, omfg. And they can relate to Bella, and get giddy over the romance in the books, and that it 'pulls them in'. But Yeah, Edward Cullen is the only reason they like these books, whereas me, I like them for the deep plots, heightened language, extensive use of metaphor and... Who am I kidding? I like those books for the exact same reason that those squeal-y twelve year old girls do. Edward is a babe, I don't know why he loves Bella, and it is just like being in high school again when I read it, getting the romance and stomach butterflies I never had while I was actually there.

So there, I admit it. Although I don't react the same way that they do, that's just because I know I'd be made fun of if I did what my heart told me and admitted that I, too, have E.C.D

1 comment:

Hannah said...

Ethan, You need to do something about this. It's not healthy. Especially because Edward Cullen is in love with Bella and he won't just dump her to be with you.

You stinky lanky vampire-loving disordered piece of trash.