Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why Don't We Just Have One Giant Wedding At Get It Over With? (or I Have Potty Stomach)

First of all, I want you to know that I am Ebineezer Scrooge, The Grinch, and Mark David Chapman all rolled into one. That being said, Here is my post:

So EVERYONE, and I mean Everyone, is getting married or is now already married. Seriously. It's like a disease around here, but instead of killing people and making them die horrible, long, drawn out, agonizing deaths, it makes people happy and love each other hold each others hands and rub noses together and...get annoying-er. Now, that's not to say everyone who gets married is annoying. In fact, in reality, people are probably just as nice, if not nicer after they get married. It's just pissing me off that everyone is doing Right Now. Like, all these arbitrary Facebook groups for weddings and people all smiley and happy together, it makes me sick. And everyone that isn't getting married right now is already married. And most of them graduated High school the same time as me... which really wasn't long ago, I promise.

Elise is startled that people she went to High School with are getting married... Um, Elise, quick two things. first: Your 24, and second: You're Married. But your also cool.

Jaclyn Hales is getting married to David Lassater, and that is great, and I actually am genuinely happy for them. I really like both of them and think they'll be really great. As for everybody else... I think it goes back to that disease analogy, okay not really. But it seems like people around here don't need to actually "date" before they get "engaged." anymore. These words have been re-defined. "Dating" now means "the period of time between the Friday that you meet eachother and the Tuesday you get 'engaged' on" and "Engaged" now means "we met last friday and want to get married while we still like eachother"... Sheesh. I'm sick!

I guess the other thing is that I am leaving for two years, so all these happy, smiley, Facebook groupey people will be going about their happy, smiley, married lives and I won't get to be one of them for a long time... not that there is anything wrong with that. I mean, i don't plan on getting married for quite a while, it's just that... well, these people are my age. And that is ridiculous.

Anyway, don't mean to hate you Married folks, not at all... I'm just sick of this sudden urge to get married...At 19! And especially I'm sick at how happy eveyone is at it...I look at pictures of the engaged folks and i can just see the happiness eminating from their faces. Their eyes so honestly happy, their smiles so wide, and they look like nothing in the world could ever make them un happy, and like anything in the world that ever has, doesn't matter. They have forgotten everyone else they have ever met and are happy to disregard their vague future plans of anyone they will meet, because they are so incredibly and radiantly happy... It makes me sick. I guess i'm a curmudgeon. Sue me!

...plus! they post all these cute little things to eachother on their respective Facebook walls prefessing their love, or even worse, something less extravogant and more down to earth, like "I really wish you were on facebook right now because i ADORE you and miss you..." Honesty... where has it ever gotten anyone. You don't need to profess your undying like to eachother on eachtohers walls. Just like how in the Victorian Era you didn't have to secretly write love notes to eachother and seal them with a signature, special, secret wax seal... But everyone did anyway because it is romantic and lovely and makes the other person's heart go into their throat because they love them so much and reading that little message made them have potty stomach, in a good way. I'm just sick. I have Potty Stomach...

But in honesty, I'm glad people are getting married and being happy... sometimes it's just a bit much, Buut that time usually happens at 2:00 in the morning after a night of hard... Pepsi drinking. So Go On, get married, be happy, post pictures, be adorable and wonderful and radiant and smile for six days straight and get distracted in the middle of conversations and all that wonderful stuff engaged and newlywed people do... it's beautiful and I love it, I really do... just don't do it in front of me at 2:00 in the morning right before I leave for 2 years.



Jacob and Elise said...

okay, I'm twenty TWO.

And I've pretty much moved on to BABIES startling me. That'll happen when you get back :)

I will agree that the sickeningly sweet comments I could do without. and I believe I steered pretty clear of them myself. Seriously, those comments aren't for the person who they're made to. They're for the world. the Facebook world. And to rub in your pre missionary face. haha.

Hannah said...

"we met last friday and want to get married while we still like each other"


See this: http://hannahhillam.blogspot.com/2008/09/this-is-my-angry-blog.html

It's a horrifying thing when your high school friends are marrying each other left and right. I agree with you, though. It's kinda disgusting. Especially the facebook-wall-sex.

Oh, and my goal for the next two years? This is JUST for you. I'm going to get married and have SO MANY BABIES so when you get back you...can be even more disgusted.


erikadanielle said...

Hey sugar-waffle-lumpkin-sexmuffin-turtlecakes-kittenmouth-cookie-cupcakey....

Ummm. Hey...liked your post...lots! I have a few couples in mind that disgust me. (Not Angie and David...don't you worry). Its always the weirdos and tards that get married first, so, don't worry...remememember?

And Hannah, that's the most brilliant idea I've ever heard...I'll help you!

Hannah said...

You would, Erika? You would help me bear those children? Wow...that is the nicest thing anyone could do for me. You could be the surrogate, so we could get two popped out at a time.