Sunday, March 29, 2009

Homeless and the couches.

So My sister Emily has this friend called Tiauna. Tiauna baught this Ugly-A trenchcoat from Savers. Okay, it's not inherently ugly, but... you know.
Emily Borrowed said trenchcoat and wore it on a walk she took. Her hair was messy, as is the norm. see image.

So: she was wearing that trenchcoat there, and had her hair all crazy-go nuts (not un-like above image) and decided to take a walk. Good for her, you know, exercise and all that. So while she was on her walk, she saw a cute little dandelion. A big one, actually . And Emily, being the Nature-Enthusiast she is, she plucked this large sized dandelion and put it behind her ear then continued walking. When Emily was on her way back home, she found a couple of discarded plastic grocery bags. And Emily, being the Upright-Citizen she is, picked up the two bags and continued on her way. a few more steps led her to some discarded trash on the ground, and so Emily just bend over, picked it up and put it in her plastic bags. This led her to the decision that while she was walking home, she would collect trash along the way. isn't that good of her? By this point, that dandelion in her hair had gone all limp, and it was barely stating in her ear. it looked pathetic. So Emily, wearing an ugly orange trenchcoat, withe her hair all messy, with a limp dandelion in her hair, carrying trash bags and bending over to pick up anonymous trash, is walking home.
minutes later a bicyclist rose past her, slowed, turned around, and then stopped next to her. He said "Excuse me... do you need recycing?"

And Emily, being the honest-clueless person she is, thought the man was merely making conversation, albeit strange conversation, replied "No, I'm just picking up trash"

The man went on to say: " Oh... do you live very far from here?"

Emily, still not getting it replied: "oh, yeah, i just live up the road a little ways, you know..."

The man asked finally: "oh... um, do you need a Meal?"

And at this point, she finally got it: "OH! oh, no no no no no! I... No, I have a Home."

at which point the biker replied: "okay, well, you never can be sure these days" and rode off.

And this si the story of how someone thought my sister was Homeless.


The same day, some people from my neighborhood had some old couches to give away. And the woman was looking through her phone for people who might want these old couches. She said "I was looking through my phone wondering who on earth could take these things, and then I thought Betsy!" Betsy is my mom. Our wole family is known for taking everyone elses garbage, as long as it's free. And this isn't limited to merely people old and used couches, chairs, books, food-storage, office supplies, plastic shelves, old buckets, clothing, and things like that, but also peoples old rocks and peoples animals. So of course, we are the perfect choice to dunp these couches on. Now, I'll admit, I like the couches, and when they are in our house, they make our previous used love-seat and used arm-chair look pathetic. They also add a "space" to our living room that wasn't there before. So it actually was a very nice thing. These couches are also hide-a-beds. You know, those beds that fold into the couch. But our living room is too smal to open them in.
So, my mom and sisters were up in Salt Lake at the Young Womens General Broadcast, and left myself and my father to unload these couches into our house. It wasn't too big a deal, really. I mean, my dad does have a bad back, but he took it like a man. So, after a few half-hours, we had the couches un-loaded from the van and loaded into our house! like I said, they loked nice, and while we were loading them in, I kept thinking to myself "man, I can't wait to sleep on this!" yeah, I know. I have a bad... but it's downstairs and cold. whatever.
So a few hours later my family returns from Salt Lake. My two little sisters walk in and get excited about the couches, saying they looked great, and then immediately went into how they were so much bigger than the previous couch and how they would fit so much better on this couch when they were sleeping than they would on the previous couch. The girls had no idea these couches were also Hide-A-Beds. They merely thought they were normal couches. (Yeah, we sleep on our couches.) This got me worried because I wanted to sleep on the couches, not them. And I knew they were thinking the same thing. (Before these couches, we had to sleep on my dad's La-Z-boy that we bought NEW because his back hurts alot. don't ask me to explain that please. we just don't like beds, apparently.) it was a race to the couches. prime sleeping real estate. Ironic.
Now, Emily, the sister from the Aforementioned homeless experience has 3 beds currently, not including the 2 couches. One is in "her room" which is completely littered with trash, paper, fabric, plastic, miscelaneous toys, chocolate boxes, vaccuum cleaners, mirrors, lamps, and everyting else. The second bed she has is in "Elise's room" which is kind-of un usuable because the room has some walls knocked out, and smells of must. But it is infinitely cleaner than her current room. The third bed she has in in "Erynn's room"which Erynn also sleeps and lives in, and this room is littered with clothes and dolls. But they have been making due, because of the great desire Emily has not to clean either of her rooms for some reason. So at night they cuddle together in a single bed.
That night I went to Erika's house. I got back after night time and I assumed the girls would be asleep. I walked in, and Sure enough, there they were! Asleep on the couches! I have rarely had that much rage flow through my body. I wanted to sleep there! they each had at least one bed they could be sleeping in (of course, so do I...) but instead they chose the couches. So, to get back at them, i took all of the piles and piles of clothes off of the bed in "Erynn's room" where they usually sleep and decided to sleep there. I quickly realized there was no pillow there. I went on a hunt and discovered each of my sisters was using a pillow from that bed. I thought to my self "so they had to concsiouslty make a decision to sleep on the couch. they had to walk into their room, and take the pillow off of the BED that they should be sleeiping on, and take it to the couch" well, I took one of the pillows from underneath a sister and replaced it with a couch-cushion pillow and thought very distinctly "well, you sleep on the couch, you can use the couch's pillows too!" then I defiantly went and slept in their bed. And i woke up extremely comfortably. I'm sure their necks hurt from sleeping on that dumb old couch anyway.
This is the part where you don't bother to ask me why I didn't just sleep in my perfectly good bed downstairs, okay?


mommymuse said...

This was the funniest thing I read all day. Granted, it's only 9am, but still.

The_Hamburglar said...

very glad i could brighten.